I Can Love the Tarheels and Still Like "Coach K"

I’m a big University of North Carolina Tarheels basketball fan.

I grew up in North Carolina, and I’ve rooted for the ‘Heels since I can remember.
I remember Michael Jordan’s championship-winning baseline jumper in 1982, and I follow who they are recruiting for the 2010-2011 incoming class.
I believe Dean Smith is the greatest college basketball coach of all time, followed, in order, by Roy Williams, John Wooden and Bobby Knight.
I’ve partied on Franklin St. in Chapel Hill after a victory.
I believe that the reason God created the sky blue is because he loves the Tarheels.
I intensely dislike (hate is such a harsh word) our arch-rival, the Duke Blue Devils.

I say all that, because several weeks ago, a friend of mine recommended that I read a book by Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski (Coach K). The book is titled, Leading With the Heart.

Now there was a day that I would have never picked up a book by Coach K, simply because he was affiliated with Duke. But I’ve discovered over the years the dangers of a life-approach that says, “I will only be taught by those whom I like and those whom already share my same basic beliefs.” It’s a narrow-minded approach that leads to intellectual stagnation, limited perspective, untested ideas, and ultimately fear.

So, as I write this, I am in the concluding chapters of Coach K’s book. And it’s good.
It’s filled with lessons, stories and counsel about ways to successfully lead yourself, your family, and any team of people who are part of your sphere of influence.

There are dozens of life tips (or as my high school friend was fond of saying, “pithy maxims”) that are worth thinking about and figuring out how to better implement—lessons on leadership, personal development, people development, administrative techniques, how to handle a crisis and much more. In fact, at the end of this, I’ll list a few of these “pithy maxims.” But there are three things I want to mention in a little more detail here, because I think they are particularly relevant these days.

(the all-caps wording of these three ideas is mine, but the concepts are straight from the book)

IDEA 1: LEARN FROM EVERYONE AND IN EVERY SITUATION.

Coach K says tells a great story about learning from the janitor who cleans out the locker room. He writes: “I’ll ask D.C., the person who cleans our locker room.”

“Are they [the players] sloppier than usual, D.C.?”
“No, Coach, they’re pretty good.”
“Do you think any of the kids are having any personal problems?”
“Not that I can tell.”
“Will you keep an eye on them for me, D.C.?”
“Sure will, Coach.”

Well, there have been times when I’ve been working in the locker room on something and D.C., who’s been cleaning in the background, will pipe up with a comment.
“Hey Coach, I think Nate might have gotten a bad grade on a test. Doesn’t seem to be himself right now..”
“Thanks, D.C. I’ll keep an eye on him in practice tomorrow.”

Coach K goes on to talk about how he listens and learns from everyone. “Good ideas can come from anywhere and everywhere,” he writes.

I love his spirit. Contrast that with this. I know Republicans who “tune out” when Hillary or Bill or Obama speak, and therefore they refuse to learn. I know Democrats who “tune out” when George W. Bush or Rush Limbaugh speak, and therefore they refuse to learn. I know of Christians who have never read a book by an atheist (or even someone outside their own religious denomination) and I know of atheists who refuse to have an open mind towards matters of God. And much of the time it leads to judgmentalism, dislike and fear toward those things and people they aren’t open to listening to or learning from. It builds walls and destroys the possibility of an honest, meaningful relationship or dialogue. Nobody wins.


IDEA 2: I MUST EMBRACE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Coach K writes:

"[While in school at West Point], I was walking across an open area with my roommate. We were in our uniforms and we were required to walk in a straight, erect manner.

"Well, my roommate stepped in a puddle of water and splashed up a little bit of mud on my shoes. We kept on walking and suddenly I heard the worst word in the world that a plebe can hear.

“Halt!” commanded one of two upperclassmen coming toward us….
“These two guys take a look at my roommate and say, “You’re Okay.”
“Then they look at me and see my name tag. “What the **** is your name?,” one of them asked.”
“Krzyzewski, sir.”
“What kind of name is that?”

I didn’t say anything.

“Well, Mr. Alphabet, or whoever the **** you are, your shoes are cruddy. You’re a crudball. How did that happen?”

"Now, in real life, 99 percent of the people would want to explain what happened. “Look, we were walking across the area,” I wanted to say, “and my knucklehead roommate stepped in a puddle and he got the mud on my shoes. It’s not my fault.”

"But at West Point, that story’s not acceptable. So my answer was, “No excuse, sir.”
“That’s right! You have no excuses! You’re a crudball!”

"They told my roommate to get going and for the next few minutes one of these upperclassmen just reamed me out. Then he wrote me up and, of course, I received demerits for having mud on my shoes.

"So when I finally got back to the dorm, I was angry at my roommate…..

"Later I began to look at that entire incident from a different perspective.
When my roommate stepped in that puddle and splashed mud on my shoes, I had a choice to make. They were my shoes and I was responsible for them. I kept walking and took the chance that I wouldn’t be caught. I could have gone back but I didn’t. That was my choice. The truth is that I had no right to be mad at my roommate. I should have been mad at myself. And later, when I understood the reality of the situation, I was angry with myself."


I love that story because when life throws crud on your shoes, or on your face or on your home or family (and it will happen), we can choose how we will respond. Coach K says we can either
look for excuses or “reasons.” We can blame. Or we can look at our own role and “embrace the hell out of personal responsibility.” He’s right.

In my life I’ve learned that it’s fine, often wise, to evaluate the crud and learn from the crud, but it rarely leads to joy, peace or renewed purpose and confidence without a sense of personal responsibility and a game-plan for future action.


IDEA 3: IF I THINK I’VE WON, BUT THE TEAM LOSES, THEN I’VE REALLY LOST, TOO.

There is a direct connection between personal success and team success, whether that team be my family, my church, my co-workers or my community.

There are two sides to this. The first side is that I am responsible for what I contribute to the team. When I get better, we all get better.

But second, since I am part of something larger than myself, I also have to help the team succeed if I want to win.

Again Coach K tells a great story to get at this:
In our platoon, there were about thirty plebes and we were assigned three to a room. We’d all be outside the barracks dressed in our fatigues when the order would come: “Okay, you’ve got two minutes to get back here in full dress uniform.” Well, there was no way we could get from fatigues to full dress uniforms in two minutes. It was just impossible.

But when the squad leader would yell, “Dismissed!” we’d all run to our rooms and frantically start changing. One guy would be ready first and he’d head out. Then I’d be next and bolt out the door while my other buddy was still changing. We filtered out one by on, we were all late, and we had to get in the late line.

“Why are you late, mister?”
“No excuse, sir.”
“That’s right, there’s no excuse.”
But then we were asked other questions.
“Why aren’t you out here with your roommates? Why aren’t you out here together?”
“No excuse, sir.”
“Listen up, mister, if one of you is late, all of you are late. Do you understand that? It’s not about you getting out here on time, it’s about you and your roommates getting out here on time.”

And then this application from coaching his basketball team:

“I recall when freshmen Johnny Dawkins and Mark Alarie were late for a team bus. We didn’t know where they were, they had not called, and every other member of the team was on time. So we left them behind. Eventually, the two caught up to us and I remember being ready to hammer them. But after hearing that they had overslept, I began to wonder why other members of our team had not checked up on them. So I talked to the entire team about setting up buddy system where everyone looked out for one another. “If one of us is late,” I told them, “all of us are late.”

The only way I can win is if my team wins. I like this idea a lot.


I'll stop here. Being a Tarheels fan, I don’t really want to write or quote “Coach K” more than I have to! But as promised I end with a few other pithy maxims from the author.

• “Everything we do has our own personal signature on it.”
• “Whatever a leader does now sets up what he does later. And there’s always a later.”
• “Believe you CAN win it all, but don’t assume that you WILL win it all.”
• “Luck favors teams who trust one another.”
• “You hear, You forget. You See, You Remember. You Do, You Understand.”
(I want to teach a whole series on this one someday)