Wednesday, August 10, 2011

CHOOSING TO SEE


This book was published in September of 2010, and I don't remember that it received much fanfare or recognition compared to other books that get released. But after reading it I have to say it may be the best book I've read in recent memory on surviving and thriving through the challenges of life, marriage and especially tragedy. A+++ book.

Friday, July 22, 2011

A Tennis Match That Came With A Powerful Reminder

There is an old proverb, filled with fresh wisdom and practical application for today. You’ve heard it many times before. It goes like this: “Pride goes before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).”

I know the truth of that proverb, and so I was not prideful or even overconfident before I met my friend Chris for a tennis match Tuesday. We played in the hot sun from 10:30 a.m. until 12:30 p.m., and when the match was over he had beaten me (yes, beaten me) in all three sets we played (6-2, 7-5, 6-0). It was a frustrating loss.

But it leads me to another truism, my own: “Pride may go before a fall, but so does lack of preparation, inferior skill and the absence of hard work.”

Oh, I worked hard during the match. I fought for every single point. But I had no chance because I had not hit a tennis ball in about a year, and I don’t lift weights and exercise faithfully, and I drink too much Dr. Pepper. Chris, on the other hand, plays in a tennis league each Fall, Winter and Spring. He works out and jogs religiously, and he hates losing as much as I do.

And so I was beaten.

Author Jim Collins, who has studied greatness and written about it, says, in a now famous quote, “Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.”

He echoes the counsel of Solomon who observes that “lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper.” (Proverbs 13:4).

Why did I lose the tennis match? Largely because I hadn’t made the choices necessary in the days, weeks and months prior to the match that would result in a win on the day of the match.

Read about Tom Brady or Peyton Manning. Why are they among the greatest quarterbacks to ever play football? Mostly it’s not because they are taller, faster, or physically stronger than other quarterbacks. Mostly it’s because they out-work other quarterbacks. They are more careful to guard their lifestyles—diet, sleep patterns, work-outs, words and actions in public—than other QBs. They spend more time on the practice field, arriving earlier and staying later. They devote a ridiculous number of hours to studying game film. And they intentionally nurture strong relationships with key members of their offense.

Read about the greatest musicians and music groups of the last one-hundred years. Read about the most successful business leaders of our day. Talk to great parents. Study the habits of most “A” students. Largely each of these groups live at the upper tier of their craft because they out-work, out-hustle, out-study, and out-practice others.

So what do you want to do well? Win a tennis match against a friend? Gain greater job security or even get a promotion at work? Achieve better grades at school? Develop a stronger relationship with a friend or spouse? Be a wiser parent? Meet a financial savings goal? Get in optimal physical shape? Learn a new skill? Grow your relationship with God?

If so, those things are not likely to happen by sheer luck. You will have to work hard, be disciplined and find someone that will bring you encouragement and accountability along the way.

Too many people make excuses for why they didn’t achieve some goal in life. (Now I'll admit sometimes those “excuses” aren’t just excuses. They are valid reasons. But more often, the reason probably lies in the simple truth articulated by Solomon thousands of years ago: “lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper.”) The truth is you can do more than you think you can, with the help of friends, family, and with a great God whose wisdom and power is available to each of us on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis.

Today I remind you what I was reminded of so rudely on a hot, summer morning, tennis racket in hand: “Pride may go before a fall, but so does lack of preparation, inferior skill and the absence of hard work.”

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Two Kittens

I took our new kittens to the vet yesterday for their first vaccinations. It was actually the first time I’d taken any of our pets to the vet. And when I arrived, checked-in and sat down in the waiting area along with a dozen other pets and pet-owners, I was unprepared for what I was about to experience.

I was unprepared because I didn’t know that if you are a pet-owner you are part of a family of pet-owners. While sitting in the waiting room with Snowball and Snowflake (names given to our kittens by my daughter), people began talking to me like they’d known me for years.

“I bet your children love those kittens.”

“Our kids love our dog, Otto.”

“I remember when I first purchased our dog. Our kids were still toddlers.”

“We were just married and two weeks after our honeymoon my wife saw our dog and her heart melted.”

I learned about Lacey the cat, whose sister died of diabetes a few years ago, and I learned what danger signs I should watch for in our own kittens as they grow up. I met Kitty (an original name), the 19-year old cat whose owner found her clutched between the teeth of their dog one winter morning when he went outside to get the newspaper (interestingly the cat was fine, but the dog’s face was bloodied with multiple cat scratches). I met Otto the rescued Boxer and Chloe the Pomeranian, who gets a good shave every summer to help her stay cool.

And with every conversation I also learned a little about each owner. One owner’s husband was a youth pastor in the area. One retired couple indicated that since their children had moved out of the house, their animals were like their new children. One man had taken the day off work to bring his dog in, and had been waiting 2½ hours in the waiting room because he didn’t have an appointment that day. But he wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t mind the wait.

When customers left they said “good-bye” to other owners as if they had known them for a lot longer than thirty minutes or an hour.

And as I was driving back home, reflecting on the experience, I realized that I had learned more than just a few names and stories. I had witnessed this truth of human nature: People long to share their story and hear yours, when done so in the safety of a loving, accepting environment. We like to share our stories with people we believe are interested and can identify with them. We like to know and be known in the context of family. And in this case we were a family of pet owners.

I tell you all that, because this truth obviously applies outside the realm of pet ownership, too. We all, in life, want to know and be known, love and be loved, celebrate and be celebrated. And, in fact, this is one of the most important jobs of any Christian church, to increasingly become a place of safety and joy and acceptance and love, to truly become a family united, not by out pets, but, by our membership in the family of God.

So will you listen to another’s story this week? Give someone a call. Take someone out for coffee or lunch. Really listen.

Share your story, too. And as you do, remember that we have a heavenly father who already knows our story and who longs to be a daily part of it, bringing us love, peace, purpose and joy. The Psalmist reminds us of this in Psalm 139:

“O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.”

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Reflections On This Week's Biggest News Story

I stayed up late Sunday night to hear President Obama’s announcement that Osama bin Laden had been killed. Following the story that evening on multiple news outlets was a riveting and emotional experience for me.

I have continued to follow the barrage of information surrounding the death of bin Laden and the never-ending stream of pictures and videos of American celebrations. I totally understand people’s excitement over his death and share in the admiration for the men and women who acted so bravely during the course of the operation that resulted in bin Laden’s death.

I realize that while this doesn’t end terrorism, it does bring a measure of resolution to the tens of thousands of families around the world who have suffered because of bin Laden’s acts of terror. And I realize, too, that this has brought a sense of unity to many in our country and fueled hope for a different, better future.

However, I have seen a very dangerous side of the celebration. Patriotism, which is good, can quickly turn to un-Christ-like attitudes and actions.

Some people are “celebrating” because they believe that Osama Bin Laden is now in hell. One newspaper headline I saw even read, “Rot in Hell.” Others are celebrating because they believe it shows the superiority of America or at least that America is “the winner.” Several hand-made signs in New York City and around the country have simply read “WIN” or “America Wins.”

This has led me to a series of questions that I think every thoughtful person ought to ponder. I do not attempt to answer these questions, but do hope that we will each prayerfully reflect on them.

  • Should we ever hope for the damnation of anyone?
  • Should killing someone ever be a cause for celebration or joy?
  • How does our response to Bin Laden’s death fit in to Jesus’ command to love and forgive our enemies?
  • How are Christians representing Christ in their response to bin Laden’s death?
  • If we display such an intense hatred for our enemies that we are overjoyed at the news of their death or suffering, how will the world ever know the radical love and forgiveness of Jesus?
  • When, if ever, is it healthy to celebrate the death of anybody?
  • Does violence, even a “justified” act of violence, have the capacity to heal the wounds inflicted by violence, or to end the cycle of violence?
  • We, as a nation, are rightly repulsed and angered when we see others dancing and celebrating over the death of Americans. Do you think our response to bin Laden’s death might engender similar reaction among others?
  • How can we “rejoice with those who rejoice” and “mourn with those who mourn” and “bless those who persecute us” (Romans 12).
  • How can we celebrate and express gratitude for what’s good while respecting those who may not share our joy?

These are some tough questions that don’t have simple answers. But I think they are important questions for any Christ-follower to think through. So as we recognize the significance of bin Laden’s death, the heroism of the American soldiers and the healing that continues to take place for the thousands of victims of terror around the world, let us also seek to be ambassadors for our Savior in the process (2 Corinthians 5:20).

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A Fish Story

A few nights ago, several minutes after I had tucked my daughter into bed, I opened the door to her room to check on her and see if she had fallen asleep. She was still awake. And she was writing in her notebook.

I asked her what she was writing, and she answered, "Do you want to hear it?"

I said, "Yes."

She read it to me.

Below I have typed the story she wrote and read to me. It's a wonderful story and fuel for all kinds of analysis from psychologists, parents, friends, counselors and anyone interested in a story about life, love and lessons learned along the way. Enjoy!


A Fish

by Emma Bryan

A girl was walking by a pond. She saw a fish, and she wanted to catch it. But the fish was too fast. So she said that the fish should go home, and she stopped trying to catch it.

One day later, the fish came back. The girl said to the fish, "I am not your mother." But the fish said that it did not have a mother. (The girl did not know that. But then she found out.)

So the girl kept the fish. The fish was very pretty. The girl was so happy that her mom said "yes" to keeping the fish. Her mom was so nice to the fish.

One day the fish was dying, but the girl did not know. But she knew the fish was sick. So she took the fish to the fish doctor. She was so, so, so sad.

The doctor said the fish did not get fed because the girl had forgotten to feed it.

The girl did not want to tell, but she had to do it. So she did. She got in trouble, but she learned a lesson. The lesson was to tell her parents before playing to make sure the fish was fed.

The good news was the fish did not die. The girl fed the fish every day so the fish would not die. She loved the fish so much.

Soon it was the fish's birthday. They had a party, but just with the people in their house. They were so happy it was the fish's birthday.

The End.